


To Be With You

by TripsH



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Relationship Study, affectionate tsukki gives me so much life, lots of fluff, spoilers for recent manga chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TripsH/pseuds/TripsH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi is his best friend, someone he wants to stay with, someone he is willing to break all walls down for, to unlock all doors and welcome in.</p><p>(But Yamaguchi has already done all of that. He’s already there, a light in Tsukki’s life, someone who knows things about him that no one else does, someone who understands, who stays by his side through absolutely everything.)</p><p>He wants to stand by and support Yamaguchi too. <i>He always wants to.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in a slump with writing the past week and was on twitter saying how I wanted to write these two but had no idea what to do and was given the idea of doing something with the events in the most recent manga chapters, so I went with it and got this. Thank you for the idea, Carole! 
> 
> This is basically a sequel to my last [fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2112222) for these two and I make references to the ending of that throughout. All I wanted to do was write fluff and I just ended up throwing in a bunch of my headcanons too. And I've never written Tsukki's pov before, so I wanted to give it a try.

Yamaguchi Tadashi is not a tagalong. Yamaguchi Tadashi is not a burden. He’s much more, so much more than that.

But that’s always been the way that Yamaguchi has perceived himself. Tsukki has watched him let nerves and self-doubts eat away at him, watched him take what others say to heart, watched him be afraid and hurt and completely unconfident.

He knows that he may not always do much to alleviate the issue, even wonders if he makes it worse sometimes. He has admitted before that he sometimes takes Yamaguchi’s loyalty and constant presence for granted, that over their years together it’s become something he’s grown used to, expects.

(A life without Yamaguchi by his side, one where they don’t walk to and from school together every day, eat lunch together either talking quietly or sitting in a comfortable silence, stand in each other’s presence and just _be_ without having to struggle to fill the void with awkward and forced words so it’s not uncomfortable, that is a life he can’t—never wants to—imagine.)

It’s almost luck that he even has a Yamaguchi Tadashi in his life to begin with. Because Tsukki is known to—has always been known to—push people away, to not let them in. He shuts them out, takes a while to open up and get comfortable, gets annoyed easily and bored even more easily interacting with others sometimes. (That’s why sometimes he likes to fill voids with biting words and borderline mean comments. Keeps things interesting, at least.)  

Tsukishima Kei puts up walls that are nearly impossible to break through.

But Yamaguchi Tadashi has managed to break down every single one.

He doesn’t know what it is about Yamaguchi that’s different, wishes there were words he could put to what he feels, some way to explain it.

_One summer day back when they were still in elementary school—only children, before Tsukki had let what happened with his brother affect him so greatly—Yamaguchi had gone home after a long day spent together, one where they had jumped from videogames in Tsukki’s room to playing volleyball outside in the backyard, eagerly dragging Tsukki’s older brother to play with them, asking him for tips. Tsukki walks inside after and plops down at the kitchen table, spent, tired, but satisfied, happy._

_Akiteru looks up from the volleyball magazine he had been reading as they waited for dinner. “You really like Tadashi, huh, Kei?”_

_Tsukki remembers puffing out his cheeks at the slight teasing tone. “Of course I like Yamaguchi. I wouldn’t bother inviting him over otherwise.”_

_Akiteru laughs, reaches over and ruffles his hair, a grin on his lips. “Good. I’m glad you have a friend like that, Kei.”_

_He remembers smiling back brightly._

 

He _does_ like Yamaguchi Tadashi, has always liked Yamaguchi Tadashi, really likes Yamaguchi Tadashi. A lot.

(Maybe he even loves Yamaguchi Tadashi.)

The thought brings a strange kind of warmth to his cheeks, not unwelcome but at the same time not desired. He almost hates the feeling of it, almost wants to shove it down. Almost, because he doesn’t like being embarrassed or caught off guard like this.

This shouldn’t catch him off guard, though. He had kissed Yamaguchi weeks ago, outside of the school under the bright stars and cool air. He had finally told Yamaguchi with real words just how important he really is to Tsukki, finally stopped assuming that Yamaguchi just understood on his own without any confirmation. He had interrupted their own rhythm that they had been keeping steady for years with a brush of their lips and a soft thank you for not only knocking sense into him at summer training camp, but for also staying, for never leaving, for not even once attempting to.

It _shouldn’t_ be embarrassing, but it is. It still brings a blush to his cheeks when their fingers interlock on the way to school, still makes his heart thud in his chest when Yamaguchi kisses him softly, a goodnight, before they part ways to return to their own houses on their walks home from practice.

The feeling is definitely strange, but he supposes he’d take the embarrassment any day if it meant getting to experience all of that.

Because Yamaguchi is his best friend, someone he wants to stay with, someone he is willing to break all walls down for, to unlock all doors and welcome in.

(But Yamaguchi has already done all of that. He’s already there, a light in Tsukki’s life, someone who knows things about him that no one else does, someone who understands, who stays by his side through absolutely everything.)

He wants to stand by and support Yamaguchi too. _He always wants to._

…

They sit close together in the stands as they watch Seijou and Datekou’s match, their legs almost brushing. Tsukki can feel Yamaguchi’s discomfort—how upset he is, how much he is doubting himself after that mistake in their match, how nervous he is for any upcoming matches.

He knows how hard Yamaguchi has worked, knows how badly he wants to play with everyone else—to be strong and dependable and stand on the court with the rest of the team. He knows that Yamaguchi’s greatest fear is that when he gets the chance to, when all attention is on him as he serves, he’ll mess up, fail. Like in the match against Seijou, like he had tried to prevent from happening in their match earlier that day.

Initially, Tsukki hadn’t understood Yamaguchi’s motivation, had scoffed and wondered why he bothered trying so hard if the chance of falling was so great, thoughts of Akiteru in his mind as he pictured something similar happening to Yamaguchi. But he knows now that he didn’t understand back then because he was scared of seeing someone he cares about so much fall, of watching them land in the exact same position his brother did.

He doesn’t like seeing Yamaguchi hurt, worried, stressed, insecure and ready to get down on himself. Hates it, actually.

So he reaches over (when no one is looking, of course. He’s got an image to uphold after all, and would rather not have idiot Hinata yelling and drawing all attention to the fact that maybe, just maybe Tsukishima Kei isn’t such a bad guy after all) and brushes his hand against Yamaguchi’s. Just as a reassurance, a comfort. He knows Yamaguchi will understand.

The brunet looks at him, eyes wide because he hadn’t been expecting the contact, opens his mouth to say something.

But before he can, Tsukki links their fingers together, for only a brief moment, and squeezes his hand. He lets go a second later, brings his hand back to his lap. But it’s good to see the worry fade from Yamaguchi’s eyes, the stressed creases in his forehead disappear as he looks back at the match below them.

Even though their hands are no longer linked, Yamaguchi leans in closer to him as they watch the rest of the match, fingers curled into the sleeve of his jacket.

Maybe it’s not much, but it’s enough. It’s enough for him.

…

They’re curled up in Tsukki’s bed together, arms around each other and breaths soft and quiet as sleep draws closer and closer, when Yamaguchi says it.

“Sorry for today,” he mumbles, tightening his grip around Tsukki, burying his face in his shirt. His next words are muffled, but Tsukki still hears them. “I messed up. I shouldn’t have…”

Tsukki frowns. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. You scored, remember?”

“Yeah, but barely, and after…” He’s sure Yamaguchi is thinking of when he had decided to play it safe and do a normal serve that he knew would go over rather than chancing failure with the jump float serve. “I got scared and…”

“Tadashi.”

(The name still feels a little foreign on his lips, a new phenomenon that came with their newfound relationship status. It’s still something he’s getting used to, still something that brings a slight blush to his cheeks.)

“Hm?” Yamaguchi pulls back the slightest bit, loosens his grip on Tsukki so that they’re looking at each other. “What is it, Tsukki?”

He’s tired after that day. They both are. And with an even bigger day tomorrow, they need sleep. But he fights the overwhelming urge to shut his eyes and let sleep overcome him. Because Yamaguchi needs to hear these words, and Tsukki doesn’t think he’d be able to sleep peacefully if he holds onto them.

“You’ve got nothing to be scared of. We all know how hard you’ve worked. _I_ know how hard you’ve worked and how important this is to you. It’s all going to work out, okay?”

“But we’re playing Seijou and—”

He leans down and presses his lips to Yamaguchi’s, kisses him, soft and gentle. When he pulls back, he brushes his hand over Yamaguchi’s cheek, through his hair. “Then show them how much stronger you’ve gotten. Show them how hard you’ve practiced.”

“O-okay,” Yamaguchi manages, voice unsure at first, but stronger as he repeats it. “Okay, I will. I promise I will.”

“Good.”

And when their lips meet again, Tsukki can feel Yamaguchi’s soft smile against his lips.

…

It’s late, he’s almost asleep when the thought is back in his head, rushing forward full force.

_He really likes Yamaguchi Tadashi. Maybe even loves him._

No, not maybe, definitely. He definitely does.

But he doesn’t even realize that words are slipping past his lips, maybe because he’s so tired, maybe because he’s so caught up in the thought. “Tadashi…”

Yamaguchi doesn’t answer; the only response Tsukki gets is soft breathing as Yamaguchi shifts against his chest, still peacefully asleep.

With a soft and tired sigh, he pulls Yamaguchi closer, rests his chin on top of his head, the soft hair tickling his skin.

He doesn’t say it, doesn’t voice the words no matter how badly he wants to. That’s a confession for another day.  

And for right now, this, just to be with each other, together, that’s enough.


End file.
